The biggest money drain on retirement funds is the needs of siblings. The problem lies in that many parents cannot say no to the needs of their kids. Over a quarter are willing to go into debt to support their kids. One of the financial advisers I know said simply, ” Say no” While that seems to be the simple solution, many parents are not saying no. Because it’s done out of love, it is heartening, but many financial experts say that you are playing with fire when you continue to hand out money to your children. One of my students who is now semi retires forks over 2,000 per month for his 32 year old daughters rent.. The daughter in turn, contributes 1,000 and the arrangement was suppose to end last year but has continued. One woman who is 65 has to cut her monthly expenses by 2,000$ for the next nine month after she gave her 34 year old daughter 400,000$ for a custom house. Her tax bill was 50,000$. She in turn, took the money from her 401K and now faces financial hardship at a time when she should be enjoying her retirement and the financial freedom that goes with it. While all of us who have children want the best for them. There comes a time when they must do something for themselves. In a society of me first today, many adult kids take advantage or worse, expect their parents to help with finances even after the parents have put them through college. Here’s some tips for parents. First, open up, be in charge as to how much money you can afford to give. Explain to them your budget and your expenses and how much you could afford to give before it eats away at your money. Second, Lend, don’t just keep giving. Let them borrow and pay you back in affordable payments and lastly, Ask for help, if the child moves back home, they should help out with expenses like utilities, groceries, and possibly rent. Only then will it be fair to you who have given your all to them since birth. A parent needs to say NO , no matter how much it may hurt, otherwise, you will be the one hurting from financial ruin should you continue.